A Hindu saint who was visiting river Ganges to take a bath found a group of family members on the banks, shouting in anger at each other. He turned to his disciples smiled and asked.
‘Why do people shout in anger shout at each other?’
Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, “Because we lose our calm, we shout.”
“But, why should you shout when the other person is just next to you? You can as well tell him what you have to say in a soft manner.” asked the saint
Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the other disciples.
Finally the saint explained , “When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other to cover that great distance. What happens when two people fall in love? They don’t shout at each other but talk softly, Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is either nonexistent or very small…”
The saint continued, “When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that’s all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.”
He looked at his disciples and said. “‘So when you argue do not let your hearts get distant, Do not say words that distance each other more, Or else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return. They may end up in divorce courts, for instance.”
Author Unknown, story found here…Why we shout when in anger
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I know I have said this several times but it is my favorite saying about anger,
Anger is like grabbing a red hot coal to throw at some one, it will get stuck to the skin of your hand and burn only you.
so simple, even a cave man can do it…
and of course where do you think the toddlers learn this?
may your day be filled with smiles
14 comments
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December 29, 2011 at 5:23 am
Savy
Beautiful said…
December 29, 2011 at 6:03 am
Jackie L. Robinson
Wow. This is one of those posts in which I not only ‘get’ something, but am realizing something ‘new.’ The truth of how anger and love impact our hearts and ultimately our ability to relate to others–we know this. And yet, this story shines so brilliantly on the genius of our emotions and their effect on how we connect. Thank you for this…I really love it and if you don’t mind, I’d like to share it on my FB page today. xoxo
December 29, 2011 at 7:48 am
rumpydog
I like that one. Thanks for sharing it!
December 29, 2011 at 8:02 am
Warrior Poet Wisdom
What a great story, and makes me think quite a bit about my own speech patterns. 🙂
Peace & grace,
~Miro
December 29, 2011 at 8:12 am
Cindi Pugliese
How true this is! My ex called the other day and shouted and shouted. It’s so hard for me to believe that once we could look at each other in silence and know.
December 29, 2011 at 8:26 am
Pocket Perspectives
Wonderful story….and the metaphor of the hot coal is one of my favorites…very powerful.
December 29, 2011 at 12:50 pm
granbee
Art, the smile in the sky formed by the birds is SO you! Thank you and bless you. And I had not thought of this “distancing from others through anger” principle exactly this way before. Thank you SO MUCH.
December 29, 2011 at 5:28 pm
yearstricken
Great story and a good reminder to move closer, not further away from people.
December 30, 2011 at 1:19 am
Mina
Interesting perspective…I’ve never thought of anger and love in this way before, yet it makes absolute sense.
Come to think of it, when I sometimes have shouting matches with family members, I never hear what they say half the time anyway…heh, though I definitely know they’re angry.
Still, I wonder if it’s possible to completely control yourself so that you don’t shout when you’re angry. When you have such a fiery emotion trapped inside yourself, it can be difficult to not let it out, but you make a great point that we should try to control our tempers or at least our words of anger. Otherwise, regret would be a very constant and bitter companion…
December 30, 2011 at 2:03 pm
zumpoems
A corollary to this is why do we shoot at each other? The further the hearts are apart the greater wallop that the delivery mechanism seems to carry.
December 30, 2011 at 6:37 pm
lorrelee1970
The bird shot is priceless and you are right…a caveman can do it.
January 2, 2012 at 11:11 am
WordsFallFromMyEyes
Excellent. As I was reading, I was thinking, ‘people shout to try and get through, because they don’t think they’re being heard’ – but yes! it’s because their hearts distance. And yes, when hearts are close they whisper & then say nothing.
This was great, Zendictive 🙂 I will always remember this.
March 16, 2012 at 6:18 pm
Subhan Zein
Paulo Coelho also wrote the same thing, and I thought it was originally from him! Oh, I didn’t know it came from the Hindu tradition!
Subhan Zein
October 5, 2012 at 8:40 am
e8narprenabpot1980
Reblogged this on Dawn Allen Pages.