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Think about this…a herd of buffalo can only move as fast as its slowest buffalo.  And when the herd is hunted it is the slowest and weakest buffalo at the back of the herd that is killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cell. As we know excessive intake of alcohol, kills brain cells. But naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

kj

my brother posted this on facebook and as I laughed I realized the wisdom in it because my wife and I were watching a show last night and a statement came out of it that I have been dwelling on…

“Your so dumb, you don’t even know your dumb!”

We all can’t be the brightest color in the crayon box. There has to be a multiple of colors to make up the box as a whole. Every one has a spot in the box … what color do you think you are? For me it is blue!

_______________________________

(~_~)

 

A wealthy man requested an old scholar to wean his son away from his bad habits. The scholar took the youth for a stroll through a garden. Stopping suddenly he asked the boy to pull out a tiny plant growing there.

The youth held the plant between his thumb and forefinger and pulled it out. The old man then asked him to pull out a slightly bigger plant. The youth pulled hard and the plant came out, roots and all. “Now pull out that one,” said the old man pointing to a bush. The boy had to use all his strength to pull it out.

“Now take this one out,” said the old man, indicating a guava tree. The youth grasped the trunk and tried to pull it out. But it would not budge. “It’s impossible,” said the boy, panting with the effort.

“So it is with bad habits,” said the sage. “When they are young it is easy to pull them out but when they take hold they cannot be uprooted easily.”

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A woman who was at her hairdresser’s getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband mentioned the trip to the hairdresser.

“Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? asked the hairdresser. “It’s crowded and dirty. You’re
crazy to go to Rome . So, how are you getting there?”

“We’re taking Continental,” she replied. “We got a great rate!”

“Continental?” exclaimed the hairdresser.” That’s a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they’re always late. So, where are you staying in Rome ?”

“We’ll be at this exclusive little place over on the Tiber River called Teste.”

“Don’t go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it’s really a dump.”

“We’re going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope.”

“That’s rich,” laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people trying to see him. He’ll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You’re going to need it.”

A month later, the woman came in for another hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome .

“It was wonderful,” explained the woman, “not only were we on time in one of Continental’s brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.”

“And the hotel was great! They’d just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it’s a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were verbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner’s suite at no extra charge!”

“Well,” muttered the hairdresser, “that’s all well and good, but I know you didn’t get to see the Pope.”

“Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican , a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I’d be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.

Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me..”

“Oh, really! What’d he say ?”

He asked me, “Poor Lass, who does your hair?”

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(~_~)

The last four-day work week was long. I have always said that, “the people you work with can make or break your day.” At the unit, you end up working with different people every day. This week, one day, I worked with an individual who went through the day using humor to make it through the intense climate we endure. And of course you learn something new everyday … for example:

Do you know what sex and rain storms have in common?

You never know how long it will last or how many inches you are going to get!

I have always believed that laughter is the best medicine. It breaks the ice, it brings people closer together and it makes the day go by faster and more fun. Laughter inflates the spirit.

They discovered the secret ingredient in Viagra… “fix-a-flat.’

Breathe in. Breathe out.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Forget this and attaining Enlightenment
will be the least of your problems.

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Zen giggles

Ikkyu, the Zen master, was very clever even as a boy. His teacher had a precious teacup, a rare antique. Ikkyu happened to break this cup and was greatly perplexed. Hearing the footsteps of his teacher, he held the pieces of the cup behind him. When the master appeared, Ikkyu asked, “Why do people have to die?”

“This is natural,” explained the older man. “Everything has to die and has just so long to live.”

Ikkyu, producing the shattered cup, added, “It was time for your cup to die.”

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Japanese Zen master Sesso warned, “There is little to choose between a man lying in the ditch heavily drunk on rice liquor, and a man heavily drunk on his own ‘enlightenment’!”

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A Zen Buddhist opened up a hot-dog stand and his first customer paid with a £20 note.

After waiting, the customer demanded, “Where’s my change?”

“Sir,” replied the Buddhist, “change must come from within.”

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Q: How many Zen Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three – one to change it,
one to not-change it and one to both change and not-change it.

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If you laugh a lot, when you get older your wrinkles will be in the right places

I am catching the next plane of existence out of here~

(~_~)

 

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A Thousand Words

Last night, the wife, my little 9 year old daughter and I watched the movie, “A Thousand Words.” I was taken by the movie’s ‘zen’ appeal and of course ‘Eddie Murphy’s’ comic charm. Even my lil girl laughed and loved the movie that was charming and filled with a wonderful message of, “the power of words.”

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After stretching the truth on a deal with a spiritual guru, literary agent Jack McCall finds a Bodhi tree on his property. Its appearance holds a valuable lesson on the consequences of every word we speak.

Eddie Murphy is Jack McCall, a fast-talking literary agent, who can close any deal, any time, any way. He has set his sights on New Age guru Dr. Sinja (Cliff Curtis) for his own selfish purposes.

But Dr. Sinja is on to him, and Jack’s life comes unglued after a magical Bodhi tree mysteriously appears in his backyard. With every word Jack speaks, a leaf falls from the tree and he realizes that when the last leaf falls, both he and the tree are toast. Words have never failed Jack McCall, but now he’s got to stop talking … or he’s a goner.

A Thousand Words

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Words are a powerful tool, but not just the words but the passion and emotions that we use with them matter as much as what we say. As in the story with Buddha and the lake, where a married couple scream at each other because their hearts have become distant, even though they stand next to each other. When their love was new and fresh, their hearts were so close that they did not need words, the heart knew what the other was feeling.

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I see this movie in so many others, you can’t take a hammer and pound zen into them. No matter how many stories, parables or quotes you throw at them, they just don’t get it. Like watching a dog chase it’s own tail, never going anywhere spiritually in life, just existing. In this movie, Eddie Murphy has to go through a harsh trial to understand, passion, a better way of living and of course the power of words. Needless to say, I recommend to all, watch this movie.

 words are tied to emotions like a tree’s root reaching into the earth.

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choose your words wisely

(~_~)

‘Life is like a roller coaster ride,’ … I have heard this before and it really stuck in my mind while the family and I spent our vacation at Six Flags Fiesta Texas in San Antonio the last last few days. The kids wanted to do nothing but go from roller coaster to roller coaster. The Rattler, Superman, Poltergiest and then there is the Boomerang.

My little girl who is no bigger than a minute had a hard time because some of the rides had height requirements based on the security restraints used to keep you in your seat while spinning 50 miles an hour upside down. However some rides had a restriction that stated if you are this size, (48” = 4 foot) you must be accompanied by an adult, like the Boomerang roller coaster.

She had been crying most of the day that, “it was not fair that she could not go on a roller coaster ride that did a loop and spun you upside down.” Then we found the Boomerang. This ride would allow her to ride if an adult went with her and the line was not long. So… I volunteered. (rolls my eyes … like I could really help her while traveling at such speeds)

This ride starts out by slowly pulling you back wards and up till you are nearly looking straight down. Holding on for dear life, then it releases and shoots you into loops and spins that have to be what the astronauts do going the speed of sound and yes, it loops upside down.

How horrific and thrilling at the same time. Life truly is the same way. So many times I just want to stop everything and reset my thoughts but life is moving so fast you can’t. Ever tried meditating on a roller coaster. My Lil sunshine wanted to ride this ride over and over because it was the only one that she was allowed to ride that went upside down so, I practiced meditating on a roller coaster, strange huh?

Life truly is like a roller coaster, you have to pay, stand in lines (traffic jams everyday) it spins and twists and goes faster than we want them to, (the day is gone before you know it) and it leaves you feeling exhilarated. When it is over, we reflect on the event. Thank goodness for Dramamine (~_~). All in all we had a great time and as always, we were making memories.

Art~

..this is the actual, “Boomerang,” roller coaster ride at Fiesta Texas.

It pulls you up and up then realeases you at a very fast speed.

“life… what a ride!”

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Life is full of challenges… hold on tight!

(~_~)

 Happy Mother’s Day

 

the cake

Sometimes we wonder, “What did I do to deserve this?” or “Why did God do this to me?” Here is a wonderful explanation! A daughter is telling her Mother how everything is going wrong, she has failed in algebra, her boyfriend broke up with her and her best friend is moving away.
 
Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake and asks her daughter if she would like a snack, and the daughter says, “Absolutely Mom, I love your cake.”
 
“Here, have some cooking oil,” her Mother offers.
 
“Yuck” says her daughter.
 
“How about a couple raw eggs?”
 
“Gross, Mom!”
 
“Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?”
 
“Mom, those are all yucky!”
 
To which the mother replies: “Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake!

~~~

Life works the same way. Many times we wonder why did we go through such bad and difficult times.  We just have to have faith and, eventually, they will all make something wonderful!

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Once there was an elderly widow, Chen Ma, who lived with her only son inside a forest in the Shanxi Province. Her son was one of the tiger hunters licensed by the local magistrate, following the same profession of his father and grandfather before him. His share of the profits from the sale of tiger skins, meat and bones was sufficient to keep the small mud hut well provisioned for himself and his old mother.

All was well until a particularly bitter winter. During a snowstorm, Chen Ma’s son was separated from his fellow hunters and became food for a hungry tigress.

After her initial shock and grief subsided, Chen Ma took stock of her own utterly desperate situation — an old woman left all alone. She went and implored the magistrate to provide her with compensation for the loss of her son, who was her only source of support. The magistrate decreed that henceforth, she would have a small share of profits from the kill of each tiger by the hunters. Needless to say, his decision was not taken well by the hunters, who had plenty of mouths of their own to feed — both old and young.

So, when the hunters succeeded in killing the tigress that ate Chen Ma’s son, they decided not to give her a share of the profits. Instead, they brought her the tigress’ newborn cub. He was a small quivery ball of golden fur with wobbly legs and toothless gums.

The rope they tied around his neck was so tight that it was practically choking him. Instantly, Chen Ma’s heart went out to this helpless creature, whose jade-green eyes were glistening with tears.

After the hunters left, the tiger cub wobbled to where Chen Ma sat and lay at her feet. She bent down to rub his ears and he licked her shoes with his soft tongue.

The elderly widow looked at the tiger baby and sighed. “They told me to butcher you, to salt and smoke your flesh for my meat supply. Your skin would make warm boots for my feet; your bones are good for making Tiger Bone Wine to ease the pain in my joints. But oh, how can I bear to kill you? You are so young and vital, while I am so old and frail.”

And so, Chen Ma untied the rope from the little tiger’s neck and fed him a paste of cooked roots with her fingers. Her son had a good supply of grains and roots in the attached shed and she planned to stretch the food out to last the winter.

When the store of the firewood was running low, Chen Ma was unable to keep her bedroll on top of the kang warm (a kang is a bed base built of bricks with space for a small fire). So she slept curling against the baby tiger, whose soft fur was cozy and warm.

Once ever so often, women from nearby villages would bring sewing for Chen Ma to do. She was very handy with a needle. They paid her for her labor with dried venison and small sacks of grain. At first they did not find the little tiger’s presence alarming; he was no bigger than a piglet. However, when spring came, he had grown into the size of a calf, showing a full set of teeth and claws. The women told their hunter husbands and the men came to kill the young tiger.

Chen Ma armed herself with her son’s hunting spear and threatened to gut anyone who dared to harm her beloved pet.

“I’ve lost both husband and son. This tiger is the only companion I have now. I shall go to the magistrate and request to adopt him as my son.”

The hunters thought the old woman had become mad and jeered at her. But since she was so determined, they dared not kill her tiger without the magistrate’s permission. So they followed Chen Ma and her tiger all the way to the official’s judgment hall.

“Venerable Mother,” said the magistrate. “Your request is most unusual. Are you not afraid that some day the tiger might revert to his wild nature and devour you?”

“Honorable sir,” replied the old widow with tears in her eyes. “What is there to fear? I have lived too long. The only worry I have now is being left utterly alone. Please let me adopt this young tiger, for he has become like a son in my affections.”

The kindly magistrate did not have the heart to refuse such an ancient woman’s pleading. So he had his assistant draw up a document for the tiger’s adoption.

In order to protect the tiger from the hunters’ arrows and spears, the magistrate ordered a large copper pendent made to hang around the beast’s neck. The words “Fu Chee” were engraved on the pendent meaning Tiger Son. To show her deep gratitude, Chen Ma knelt down in front of the magistrate and knocked her forehead three times. Then she led Fu Chee back to their home in the forest.

By next winter, Fu Chee had grown into his maximum size. Chen Ma’s hut was in danger of collapsing whenever the tiger became playful. Reluctantly, she allowed Fu Chee to make his home inside a cave nearby.

However, the affectionate tiger came back to visit his adopted mother often, always bearing a gift in his mouth — a dead deer or a large piece of tree branch. Also, he still liked to lick her shoes and to have his ears rubbed. Chen Ma’s needs were being cared for just as if her natural son was still alive!

After Chen Ma died at the ripe old age past one hundred, the hunters noticed Fu Chee guarded her tomb nightly. They left him unmolested as he had never attacked any humans or domestic animals. This went on for a number of years and then one day the tiger was seen no more.

Out of deep respect and admiration for the filial tiger son, the hunters erected a small stone monument at Chen Ma’s tomb with Fu Chee’s story engraved on it. Henceforth, Fu Chee became a household legend in that part of Shanxi Province.

~ ~ The End ~ ~

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Hug Your Mother…
 
 
 
 

Every now and then, science and intuition converge and seem to affirm things we knew all along. ……..

…….”Hugs”, physical contact of this nature is associated with measurable and meaningful attenuation of blood pressure and heart rates in adults. If hugs from significant others can help blunt our physiologic response to life’s inevitable stressors, perhaps repeated instances of warm contact and feelings of closeness to others may mitigate the negative effects that life’s hassles can inflict on bodily systems… more

……Oh—and don’t forget to give mom a big hug on Mother’s Day (and another to dad on Father’s Day). You’ll both be better for it…

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have a zen-sational day
 
(~_~)

Boot Struggles

Author: Unknown

Miss Jones was helping one of her kindergarten students put his boots on. Jake had asked for help, and she could see why. With her pulling and him pushing, the boots still didn’t want to go on. When the second boot was on, she had worked up quite a sweat. She almost whimpered when the little boy said, “Teacher, they’re on the wrong feet.” Miss Jones looked, and sure enough, they were.

It wasn’t any easier putting the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as, together; they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the right feet.

Jake then announced, “These aren’t my boots.” She bit her tongue and thought “Why didn’t you say so?” Once again, she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off. He then said, “They’re my brother’s boots. My mom made me wear them.”

Miss Jones didn’t know if she should laugh or cry. She mustered up the grace to wrestle the boots on his feet again. Finally, that task was accomplished, and she asked him, “Now where are your mittens?”

Jake said, “I stuffed them in the toes of my boots.”

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Attitude and mood play an important role in our lives. If we are aggitated, then everything will upset us but if we keep an open mind and understanding heart then small problems and obsticles can become laughter and laughter is good for the soul .

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It Pays to be Patient

Author: Unknown


Once there was a rich man who fell seriously ill. He sold all his belongings just to cure his illness. After he became healthy, he realized that he had nothing left. He had difficulties feeding himself, but he thought that in no time things would be back to normal again, he would be rich again.

He waited for a long, long time but nothing happened. His life was dreadful and so he decided that if he took his own life, it would be over. So he did.

While on his way to hell, he met two angels who were carrying a heavy load. He asked them where they were going.

After their long explanations, this man realized that the two angels were coming to him. The heavy load they were carrying was a bag full of money. But since he was no longer alive, he wouldn’t be able to receive it.

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may you have a pocket full of patience and a face full of smiles

(~_~)

Zendictive’s… 300th post
 
(after 300 stories and poems, I still enjoy doing this as much now as when I started- the up side is I am getting a grip on the gadgets offered and used to blog)
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A hermit was meditating by a river when a young man interrupted him. “Master, I wish to become your disciple,” said the man.
 
“Why?” replied the hermit. The young man thought for a moment.
 
 “Because I want to find God.” The master jumped up, grabbed him by the scruff of his neck, dragged him into the river, and plunged his head under water. After holding him there for a minute, with him kicking and struggling to free himself, the master finally pulled him up out of the river. The young man coughed up water and gasped to get his breath.
 
When he eventually quieted down, the master spoke. “Tell me, what did you want most of all when you were under water.”

“Air!” answered the man.

“Very well,” said the master. “Go home and come back to me when you want God as much as you just wanted air.”

 this story found here Spiritual short stories
 
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Once there was a Zen Master in Japan. He cultivated many years in many different temples and had countless disciples.  He was an abbot of a huge temple and many monks quit cultivating due to the unbearable hardships.  However, he had more and more followers because of his reputation. After he had enlightened to the true meaning of life, he left the temple and none of his disciples knew his whereabouts.
 
Three years later, one of his disciples found the Zen Master living with a bunch of beggars under a bridge in Tokyo.  This disciple
immediately asked the Zen Master to teach him how to cultivate.
 
 The Zen Master said that only if the disciple could stay with him for two or three days.   So, this disciple dressed like a beggar and
lived for a day like a beggar. The following day, one of the beggars
died and the Zen Master and the disciple buried the body on the
mountain. 
 
After the burial, the Zen Master came back and slept
soundly until the next morning, but the disciple could not sleep. 
At daybreak, the Zen Master said that they did not have to beg for food that day because the dead beggar had left some food.  The disciple looked at the food, but could not eat even one bite. The Zen Master said, “I already knew that you could not let go of life and
death.  You cannot cultivate with me.” The disciple was speechless
and ashamed.  The Zen Master said, “You can go now. And don’t
bother me again.”
 
The disciple left with sadness. People who understand the essence of life and the everlasting truth have no fear and will not be saddened by any separation and death of loved ones.  In the carefree spiritual realm, they can laugh about life and death and then transcend life and death. To take life and death lightly is the important first step.
 
Letting go of life and death enables us to reach the higher spiritual realm. Only when we truly see through the essence of life and death, can we face life and death optimistically and follow its natural course with no fear. In that way, we will have an enjoyable and carefree life.
 
this story found here … Pure Insight
 
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have a zendictive day
 

 

Confucius and his disciples were often persecuted by fearful despots. Having been deported from another state, the band – passing through a remote region – encountered an old woman crying beside a grave. Confucius asked her why she wept. A tiger had killed her husband and his father, she explained, and had recently attacked her only son.

“Why do you live in this savage place?” Confucius asked. “Because there is no oppressive government here,” the woman replied.

“My children,” Confucius said, addressing his disciples, “remember that oppressive government is worse than a tiger.”

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While traveling through an arid region with his students one day Confucius, suffering from intense thirst, was offered a bowl full of water collected by a disciple from a rain puddle. He immediately emptied the bowl on the ground. “It would be too much for one, too little for all,” he declared. “Let us continue our journey.”

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Once when Confucius and his students were in the State of Chen, they ran out of food and all of the students fell ill. One of the students, Zi-lu, also a famous scholar, complained, “So, it is possible for a righteous person to become destitute!” Confucius replied, “A righteous person can guard his morality and virtue even when he is destitute; whereas a wicked person will resort to all sorts of vices when he is destitute.”

Our moral standard shouldn’t change according the situation we’re in. We are sometimes tested to see whether we can stay unmoved and hold on to our principles in tough situations. Many people will compromise themselves according to the situation, and they gradually and slowly move away from their own principles.

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Confucius travelled to many kingdoms to spread his views. One time he left the Kingdom of Wei for the Kingdom of Chen via Kuang City.

The people in Kuang City mistook Confucius as Yang Hu from Lu. Indeed, Confucius looked like Yang Hu. Yang Hu had invaded Kuang City before, and the people in Kuang City resented Yang Hu very much, so they encircled Confucius and his followers. The situation became very tense, and his followers were afraid. Confucius said, “King Wen of Zhou has died and the cultural system of Zhou has fallen upon me. If heaven wants the system to die, it will not allow me to master it. If heaven doesn’t want the system to die, what harm can the people of Kuang City do to me?”

After Confucius and his followers were surrounded for five whole days, they were finally out of danger.

During the times Confucius travelled to various kingdoms, he had come across similar situations many times. Confucius once came across somebody who wanted to harm him. Confucius said, “Heaven bestowed upon me such virtue. What can he do to me?”

this story found here… stories from ancient china

Confucius was China’s most famous Philosopher. He lived in Ancient China during the Zhou Dynasty.

Confucius was a government official, and during his lifetime (he lived from 551 to 479 B.C. ) he saw growing disorder and chaos in the system.

Perhaps due to the turmoil and injustices he saw, he set himself to develop a new moral code based on respect, honesty, education, kindness and strong family bonds.

His teachings later became the basis for religious and moral life throughout China.

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 “To put the world in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must cultivate our personal life; and to cultivate our personal life, we must first set our hearts right”  

 
“Let the prince be a prince, the minister a minister, the father a father, and the son a son”
 

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do”

“Everything has its beauty but not everyone sees it”

“What a superior man seeks is in himself; what the small man seeks is in others”

read more here… a china family adventure

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may you day be filled with enlightenment

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(They did the surgery on Alan’s hip and arm yesterday but soon after he developed 103 fever? He is still under by sedation. a ying yang… good and bad news!!)

 

 One of the most memorable case studies on Japanese management was the case of the empty soap box, which happened in one of Japan’s biggest cosmetics companies. The company received a complaint that a consumer had bought a soap box that was empty. Immediately the authorities isolated the problem to the assembly line, which transported all the packaged boxes of soap to the delivery department.

For some reason, one soap box went through the assembly line empty. Management asked its engineers to solve the problem. Post-haste, the engineers worked hard to devise an X-ray machine with high- resolution monitors manned by two people to watch all the soap boxes that passed through the line to make sure they were not empty. No doubt, they worked hard and they worked fast but they spent whoopee amount to do so.

But when a workman was posed with the same problem, he did not get into complications of X-rays, etc but instead came out with another solution. He bought a strong industrial electric fan and pointed it at the assembly line. He switched the fan on, and as each soap box passed the fan, it simply blew the empty boxes out of the line.

 Simplicity!

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(Moral of the story: Always look for simple solutions. Devise the simplest possible solution that solves the problem. So, learn to focus on solutions not on problems. “If you look at what you do not have in life, you don’t have anything; if you look at what you have in life, you have everything”)

A turn of the screw

There was an industrialist whose production line inexplicably breaks down, costing him millions per day. He finally tracks down an expert who takes out a screwdriver, turns one screw, and then – as the factory cranks back to life – presents a bill for £10,000.

Affronted, the factory owner demands an itemized version. The expert is happy to oblige: “For turning a screw: £1. For knowing which screw to turn: £9,999.”

Author: Oliver Burkeman in “The Guardian Weekend”, 13 August 2011

food for thought

Life is 90 percent maintenance so get busy…

In our ever growing technical age things seem to get more complex but when it comes down to it, it is our convenience that grows accustom to mechanical equipment…when in fact all we ‘need’ is air, water and companionship, but let the power go out or our computer go down and our addiction becomes apparent and our wants throw a fit. Just remember that wants and needs are two different things.

Speaking of soap (he he he ) how many of you sing in the shower?

slippery situations are hard to grasp.

Hoping you slip through your day wonderfully!

 

Art~

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Art~

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