humorous logic

Think about this…a herd of buffalo can only move as fast as its slowest buffalo.  And when the herd is hunted it is the slowest and weakest buffalo at the back of the herd that is killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cell. As we know excessive intake of alcohol, kills brain cells. But naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

kj

my brother posted this on facebook and as I laughed I realized the wisdom in it because my wife and I were watching a show last night and a statement came out of it that I have been dwelling on…

“Your so dumb, you don’t even know your dumb!”

We all can’t be the brightest color in the crayon box. There has to be a multiple of colors to make up the box as a whole. Every one has a spot in the box … what color do you think you are? For me it is blue!

_______________________________

(~_~)

changing the way one thinks

Once upon a time, there was an unfortunate poor man. His home was also very poor – a small and empty house, where mice made their nests and spiders made their webs. People tried to avoid coming into his house – why should they stick their noses into those poor ruins? And the poor man thought that poverty is the reason of his misfortunes – his eternal destiny.

So once, the poor man met a wizard and complained to him about his poverty and miserable life. The wizard felt sorry for the poor man and gave him an unprecedented vase. And said:

This is a magical vase that will save you from poverty.
The poor man took the vase and wanted to sell it at first and then spend the money on alcohol, as usual, besides, why would he need such a beautiful thing? But then he started admiring the vase and couldn’t take it to the market. He brought the vase home, put it on the table and started admiring it.”

It’s not right for such a beautiful thing to be empty, – the poor man thought. So he picked some wildflowers and put them into the vase. It became even more beautiful.

Not good, – the poor man though again, – that such a beautiful thing stands next to a spider web.
So the poor man started cleaning his house from spider webs, sweeping out cockroaches and mice, cleaning the dust, washing the floor and the walls, whitening the ceiling.
And it became clear that his house wasn’t poor, but rather warm and cozy. And the poor man wasn’t a poor man anymore, but a hard working host, who had no time for thoughts about misfortune.

inspirational stories

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

and then comes the winds of change. I’ve been busier than a beaver in a flood. I got a promotion at work and it has been quite an adjustment from having four days off and working four days and now I am back to a five day work week and only the weekend to get my home duties done… so bare with me while I now will only have time for posting on the weekends. However, moving up the ladder requires more balance and a firm grasp on what I am doing (grin) but one thing I think I will always be doing is looking for and searching for zen-filled,  inspirational stories to fill my life and add to this collection of motivational and moral tales @ zendictive (~_~)

___________

have a zen filled day

(~_~)

Once upon a time, there was an unfortunate poor man. His home was also very poor – a small and empty house, where mice made their nests and spiders made their webs. People tried to avoid coming into his house – why should they stick their noses into those poor ruins? And the poor man thought that poverty is the reason of his misfortunes – his eternal destiny.
So once, the poor man met a wizard and complained to him about his poverty and miserable life. The wizard felt sorry for the poor man and gave him an unprecedented vase. And said:
– This is a magical vase that will save you from poverty.
The poor man took the vase and wanted to sell it at first and then spend the money on alcohol, as usual, besides, why would he need such a beautiful thing? But then he started admiring the vase and couldn’t take it to the market. He brought the vase home, put it on the table and started admiring it.
– It’s not right for such a beautiful thing to be empty, – the poor man thought. So he picked some wildflowers and put them into the vase.
It became even more beautiful.
– Not good, – the poor man though again, – that such a beautiful thing stands next to a spider web.
So the poor man started cleaning his house from spider webs, sweeping out cockroaches and mice, cleaning the dust, washing the floor and the walls, whitening the ceiling.
And it became clear that his house wasn’t poor, but rather warm and cosy. And the poor man wasn’t a poor man anymore, but a hard working host, who had no time for thoughts about misfortune.
An old hermit was once invited to visit the court of the most powerful king of those times.”I envy such a saintly man, who is content with so little,” said the ruler.”I envy Your Majesty, who is content with even less that I,” responded the hermit.”How can you say such a thing, if this entire country belongs to me?” – said the offended king.

“For precisely that reason. I have the music of the celestial spheres, I have the rivers and mountains of the whole world, I have the moon and the sun, because I have God in my soul. Your Majesty, on the other hand, has only this kingdom.” – See more at: http://www.spiritual-short-stories.com/spiritual-short-story-215-The+Kingdom+of+This+World.html#sthash.OY3V5t46.dpuf

insults and praise

One of my favourite writers, Paulo Coelho, tells the story of a novice who went to Abbot Macarius seeking advice about the best way to please the Lord.

“Go to the cemetery and insult the dead.” said Macarius.

The brother did as he was told. The following day, he returned to Macarius.

“Did they respond?” asked the abbot.

The novice said, “No, they didn’t.”

“Then go to them and praise them.”

The novice obeyed. That same afternoon, he returned to the abbot, who again wished to know whether the dead had responded.

“No.” said the novice.

“In order to please the Lord, behave as they do,” said Macarius.  “Pay no heed to the insults of men, nor to their praise; in this way, you shall forge your own path.”

I love this reminder to pay less attention to the opinions of others.  I know that when I spend my days worrying about those who would criticise me or feel compelled to please others, the quality of my work suffers.

But when I follow my calling and focus on the work, I’m more inclined to take risks and be truer to myself.

So, remember the wise words of Macarius and “pay no heed to the insults of men, nor to their praise.”

I got this story from Darren’s blog “Better life coaching”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(~_~)

A 32 year old patient sought out the therapist, Richard Crowley. “I cannot stop sucking my thumb,” he complained.

“Don’t be too concerned about that,” Crowley told him. “But suck on a different finger each day.” The patient tried to do as instructed. But each time he brought his hand to his mouth, he had to make a conscious choice as to which finger should be the object of his attention that day. Before the week was over, the habit was cured.

“When a vice becomes a habit, it is difficult to deal with,” Richard Crowley says. “But when it requires of us that we develop new attitudes, make new decisions and choices, we become aware that it is not worth the effort.”

Paulo Coelho

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

z4(~_~)

belief

A Lion was walking down a small trail in the jungle when he came upon an Elephant whom was going the opposite direction. “Move out of my way so that I may pass.” Bellowed the Lion.

“Me, move?” The Elephant replied. ” I am larger and should have the right of way. It is easier for you to move aside than I.”

“But I am the King of the jungle. It is you who should move aside for your king.” The lion replied. “So I command you to move.” With this the Elephant reached out with his long trunk and picked up the Lion. He pounded the Lion into the ground several times and then banged him against a tree then dropped him on his head.

With the Lion dazed and laying to the side, the Elephant then passed and began walking away, down the small trail. The Lion regained himself and shouted, “Well, you didn’t have to get mad about it.

Moral: Some never change their beliefs even when they are shown they are wrong.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(~_~)

have a quality day

 

pace yourself

An explorer, a white man, anxious to reach his destination in the heart of Africa, promised an extra payment to his bearers if they would make greater speed. For several days, the bearers moved along at a faster pace.

One afternoon, though, they all suddenly put down their burden and sat on the ground. No matter how much money they were offered, they refused to move on. When the explorer finally asked why they were behaving as they were, he was given the following answer: “We have been moving along at such a fast pace that we no longer know what we are doing (for money). Now we have to wait until our soul catches up with us.”

Paulo Coelho

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(~_~)

helping others

In Japan, a man breaks open the wall to renovate his house. Japanese houses normally have a hollow space between the wooden walls, and when when tearing down the walls, he found that there was a lizard stuck there because a nail from outside had been hammered into one of its feet. The man sees this, feels pity, and at the same time is curious because upon checking the nail he realized it had been there since the house was built ten years ago.

What happened?

The lizard had survived in that position for ten years! In a dark wall partition for 10 years without moving, the man found this to be impossible and mind boggling. Then he wondered how this lizard survived for ten years without moving a single step–since its foot was nailed!

So the man stopped his work and observed the lizard, what it had been doing, and what and how it has been eating. Later, not knowing from where it came, appeared another lizard… with food in its mouth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(~_~)